Keeping up with yourself
This post is a long time coming...
Full disclosure, I started the draft on May 10, and it is just now seeing the light of day. I found it hard to give advice about keeping up with yourself to other people, when I could not even keep up with myself. During the month of May, I sabotaged myself into a hole of self pity. I had to catch myself before I put myself in a position that I could not come back from. The irony being that, putting myself in such a shitty position made me realize all the assets I actually possess.
You know what they say
"once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way."
Over the course of my adult life it's seemed like the running theme, that I've felt like I was at my lowest, right before my tipping point. There were so many times where I felt stuck, unlucky, and desperate. Predicaments I put myself in trying to escape one unhealthy environment and bouncing to a new one, or because of my ignorance and pride. I've done things I am certainly not proud of... Been places I've had no business being. Put myself through the run around for nothing, to keep up with false competition. To stand in certain places with certain people and be able to say that I did. To share my energy with people who could care less whether I existed or not. To wear clothes made by people who do not even see me as a person because of the color of my skin. Or the person I choose to love.
I could go on and on but the point is Keeping up with the Jonses gets you no where but in a bind with yourself. Material objects are lovely and it's human nature to seek certain comforts like food, water, shelter, etc. It's also natural for most people to want nice things. The thing is , when you start living based off of what you've seen other people possess and not what you need, you have a legit problem on your hands. Firstly, because most of the glamorous lives portrayed online are actually facades . Secondly , because reality is, the distribution of wealth in the United States is ridiculously disproportionate and working wages are not even close to to living wages; most people have the bare minimum. Now this doesn't stop people from spending $300+ on a belt.. Why? because everyone wants to look the part, everyone wants to live "THE LIFESTYLE"
Me?
I finally found that I'll have no peace in my life until I start living my own lifestyle. I started to realize the root of my miserability came from trying to live a life that was not my own. Trying to keep up with trends I had not a care in the world for, because I wanted to belong. Associating with people I didn't like for appearances sake. So I cut away everything that weighed me down. Spent every dime to my name, quit my job, took time to just be and through destroying the person I made for society, I became myself. I've found that putting myself in uncomfortable positions forces me to produce. I started to pull things out of me that I had no idea even existed.. Ways of making income just started to manifest in my mind, I put my energy towards creating a reality I wouldn't need a vacation from... Let it be known that it is an everyday process and everyday is not perfect but it is definitely worth it.
